Thursday, December 12, 2019

A safe place to land.

Feeling mighty emotional today... not sure why but I thought I would use the emotion in a productive way and write a post on my mostly neglected blog.

There's a song I love -

Christian Burghardt - Safe Place to Land

I hear that song and it makes me tear up, from the very first time I heard it I knew it was a song that I could have written. It expresses the feelings that I feel about my kids. 

Those of you who know me, you're a bit confused by that last part. I don't have kids. Well, I have always known that I would adopt my kids, from the foster care system,  that they would come to me with broken hearts and baggage and that I would need to be a safe place for them, that I would have to work for their love and trust and that it might not be love at first sight like it is for most parents (who bring their kids home from the hospital smelling like a newborn, shiny and new). 

I'm gonna write out  the lyrics from the song I mentioned above, if you've not heard it, I would encourage you to go over to YouTube or wherever you listen to music and look it up, listen to it, and I hope it will stir something in your heart or inspire you in some way. 

Help me understand
The war you're fighting
We'll never have a chance
If you fire blindly
You're circling the atmosphere
Unsure if I'll disappear
I'm not going nowhere
Open your eyes
I'm always
Gonna be
Your safe place to land
Safe place to land
The ground beneath your feet
Like you never had
Like you never had
When you're at ten thousand feet
No parachute
You got my hand
I'm always gonna be
Your safe place to land
Safe place to land
You say your heart is made of glass
If you fall apart then I'll glue you back
Well, I'm made of paper mäché
And I'll blow away if I can't make you stay
You're circling the atmosphere
Unsure if I'll disappear
I'm not going nowhere
Open your eyes
I'm always
Gonna be
Your safe place to land
Safe place to land
The ground beneath your feet
Like you

Even just reading it, has me in tears, I'm not sure why it gets me so hard. 
We are taking steps now, me and my husband to be in the place we need to be, for those kids to find us. Maybe we will get to adopt a few of them and call them ours forever, maybe they will be just temporary kids for a while- I'm not sure, all I know is that it's close. 

My parents were those people for so many kids over the years, I saw them love every kid that came into our home, some of them even called them mommy and dad, and then they left to go back to wherever the court said they "belonged" I know it broke my mom's heart, it broke my heart as a sister, to see them go, and I'm prepared for those feelings to come back. Its OK, I'll risk my heart breaking a million times - if only I can be a safe place to land (even if just for a little while) .

Pray for us, we are trying to listen to Gods voice, and follow his direction, we know that the need is so great. and pray for them, our kids, today might be a really hard day for them, they might be in the midst of a mighty storm, they might be praying that God will rescue them, I pray that today they will hear him say- 
"I'm working it out for you, little one, I've not forgotten you, just wait a little longer, help is coming"