The time has come again to pull back the curtain and let you peek into the life I live as a relief house parent at sunshine acres children's home. this month marks our 2 year anniversary of working here :)
Normal life has returned as covid steps back, to take its place in history. We've had ALOT of things change in the last year. We are still relief, which means we go into any and all houses when needed BUT our main house (the one we are in at least two days of each week) changed. We are still in a girls house but instead of PV , WH now calls us their relief and we had a wonderful year working alongside a couple that became great friends and role models to us. That couple moved up into other positions and out of the home so now we are working with a new couple, working on establishing a new kind of normalcy in the home.
We used to have Wed-Thurs as our "weekend" and with the move to a new house we moved to Mon-Tues as our "weekend" and then recently we swapped it out to REAL weekends off :) which has been wonderful because it means that we have been able to start attending a church off-campus which was something I desperately missed, and it's been wonderful.
My cats provide constant joy to me as well as entertainment and the kids I work with, who I really do love, they provide an ever changing list of qualities into my life.
I am "mom" for a moment (when I tuck them in at night or when I wake them in the morning) , when there is a bump or scrape that needs a band aid
I am a friend when the only objective is fun or when sound advice is needed amidst drama .
I am big sister (or cool aunt) as they deal with the disappointment of a broken promise or family drama, because even though I'm not really family, I love them like family.
I am the drill Sargent at shower time (to make sure nothing but showers are happening while little bodies are naked!!!)
I am a teacher when there is a lesson to be learned and something I hope they can remember for their future.
I am a pastor during devotions or talks about God or bible characters and what can be learned and applied to our lives.
I am disappointed when they make poor choices. I cheer them on as they try new things.
I am excited when that report card starts showing the effort that's been put in.
I think I probably feel most of the emotions that a Mom feels as I go about my day, performing all the tasks I am required- but it's just a little different because I do so, knowing that they don't belong to me, that they are simply being lent to us for a while.
and when the time comes for one of these precious little ones (or not so little ones) to go home , for good, I am hopeful and worried. I pray and place them in God hands but I cannot help but think of them often and wonder how they are, and who they are becoming.
We had a little one here for a short time, she was placed though DCS and going through the process of being adopted - this was hard for me to experience. She was not in "MY" house, but one of the girls houses we got to be in once or twice a month and she was a wonderful child. My struggle came from the fact that my whole life (from the time I was a teen) my plan was to adopt kids, and I didn't think that would be a part of this job (since 99.9% of these kids are privately placed and still belong to their gradians).
I am happy for her, she deserves a wonderful family and
a wonderful life but it was so hard to love a child and then to know that she was looking for a family and then she was adopted- I felt jealous of that family. Most days I don't find it hard to trust that Gods plan for my life is better then my own plans but that week - that she was adopted, it was tough to let go of the dream that I would get to adopt and be a mom full time. I know that God can do anything and I know that maybe this is still a part of his plan for my life but it was eye opening to see how deeply it effected me.
I do still find this job to be lonely, I miss the deep friendships I had in my life prior and I continue to pray that God will add that back into my life here, I do consider all my co-workers friends, especially the house moms but our social interactions are usually cut short or here and there while we are watching kids play or waiting for the next thing to start, so our focus is always split - there is no uninterrupted fellowship.
I am still loving this job and can see myself here long term - I continue to pray that God will show me new ways to use the gifts he has given me- and to see ways I can contribute to this amazing community. I remain trusting God with my future - he knows my heart and he knows best.
In conclusion - I am so overwhelmingly blessed in my life - surrounded by beauty and miracles and so many people who's main goal it is to LOVE others.
