The time has come again to recap the year once more. It's been 3 years since we started our job as house parents at sunshine acres and this third year was heavy with goodbyes.
I learned the art of loving and letting go at a young age. My parents did foster care so our home was always welcoming in new kids, and then eventually saying goodbye to them. However, just because it's a well worn pattern for me, does not mean it is easy, it hurts my heart every time.
We said goodbye to a few of our wonderful fellow houseparents who moved away and we said goodbye to many of the kids , Some who had been here since we started and many who had been here many many years before we got here. Hard, big goodbyes.
So why do it?
Why knowingly and willingly set ourselves up for heartbreak again and again?
Because life is most beautiful when we face the hard things, when we go through the storm, endure the pain and survive. Life is so much better on the other side.
This year has also been a year of struggle for me, personally, relationally, physically, spiritually - many battles fought (some won but most still ongoing) and as a result I have found new strength and conviction, love and awareness , and it is the same in my work life, with these kids.
It is in the everyday struggle that we make an impact, that we leave an impression and show who we really are.
People come through the homes frequently on tours, here at sunshine acres, and I really enjoy interacting with the people as they come through, and answering questions.
One lady recently asked me what the BEST part of the houseparent job is and I told her that it is THAT MOMENT - when a kid stops fighting (maybe just for a moment) and realizes that they are safe here and loved here and after that moment, there is a breakthrough and the real relationship building begins.
She also asked me what the hardest part of this job is, I told her it was just normal struggle, the conflict between kids, the struggle of kids butting up again the structure of normal home life (chores and rules and such) , just normal everyday stuff that everyone deals with (times 10). So I say Goodbye is worth it, because of everything that happens before it - and hopefully we all end up better for having been a part of each other's lives, we learned something and changed a bit because of it.My goals in this job (well and in life in general)
to be consistent
to be positive
to be weird and different
to show love through my words and actions
to be steady in the day to day and fun and goofy in the unexpected
to be a listening ear for the rare moments when someone needs to let out some of the big emotions they are holding in
to pray at bedtime
to color
to take pictures and videos
to make memories
to encourage and teach
to be a MOM to these kiddos for as long as I have the chance.
I don't think goodbye will ever get easier to say but that's ok
And even as I write this, I dread the next goodbye.
I thank God for the honor of being in this role - and being able to impact so many lives, at their most venerable time. I ask him to give me the wisdom, the strength, the courage, the patience and the confidence to do this job for how ever long he has me here.
And so - HERE's to another year
and to a lot of new hellos (and inevitable goodbyes)
