Saturday, October 9, 2021

the Value of an unbroken promise

 You were supposed to come get her after school. She was going to see your new apartment and spend a whole weekend with you.

But you didn't come. Something came up and you had to leave town. When I told her she screamed, she sat on the stairs and cried, she threw her shoes at the wall. 

She had been counting down the days til today, to when she would see you again.

You would think that after all the broken promises, after a year of not seeing you, that she would expect the worse but she sees you as perfect.

You may have felt like a failure, you may have made a million mistakes with her in those first few years, before rehab, before divorce. Even still, you are her hero, you can do no wrong.

I planned all kinds of fun things for us to do, to fill the hours, and try to make her forget what this weekend was supposed to be, we painted canvases on the floor, we went swimming and made swid hotdogs and brownies, she had fun, but she still would have rather been with you doing anything.

I was her nanny, I spent ALOT of time with her, she is wonderful, she is curious and wild, she speaks her mind ( even it very inappropriate times) but more then anything, she is your daughter.

That day, that you didn't show, that was more then 10 years ago and I have no idea if either of you remember that weekend.

There were many weekends after, where you did come, and she did spend the weekend with you, but for me, the caretaker of this child. I will always remember her disappointment, her anger, her struggle to understand, her broken heart, and it is this I remember anytime a child asks me to make a promise.

I have seen "THAT DAY" play out more times then I care to recall, it always looks the same, a broken heart getting a little more broken.

So I say maybe, even if I am 95% sure that it will work out, and I know it drive the kids crazy not to have a YES or a NO but I do it because I know the worth of keeping a promise.

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