Behind the Seen - photographer feature series

 This post is meant to outline the process and purpose if this series. 

1- the Number one purpose for this series it to create content

2- to feature the photographer- provide content they can use in their socials

3- to feature the makeup artist - provide content they can use in their socials

-HERE are the VIDEOs created for episode one- 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

both the photographer and the make-up artist get these videos in raw form so they can upload onto other social media that support video. the makeup artist also get's a dozen finished/edited photos that feature the makeup they did. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this is how the DAY goes. 

we start by getting ready- makeup and such and footage is taken during this time (of the makeup getting done and small interview with makeup artist) - Makeup artist is also welcome to come to the shoot at act as stylist if they wish (credits will reflect this) 

Then we record the audio version of the photographers interview as well as video (incase there is a need for it) 

we then head to the location (chosen by the photographer) and start the shoot- video/audio is collected during this process. 

Once the shoot is done, we all go our separate ways 

I receive the video/audio footage from my very talented videographer

we wait a few weeks to receive edited photos from the shoot (and a few of those edited photos are also sent in unedited form to be used in the video) 

I sit down and start to create the videos to then upload to social media. 

I send links to the photographer and makeup artist of the videos on youtube as well as a link to the google album with all the photos, graphics, and raw video links. 

This is a value exchange process - We do not pay the professionals for their work and they do not pay us for the creation of content - we each provide what we have in exchange for what the other can provide in return. 

I (Aileen) am the model for each shoot - for several reasons

1- make is very easy to spot the different styles in photographers since they are photographing the exact same person

2- shows the average person (who is also not a 19 year old model) what they might expect when working with this photographer/makeup artist

3- I don't have to check with the model while editing to make sure they are ok with the outcome of the footage because I AM that model 

4- I know the kind of footage I need/want for the content so it's easy to guide the shoot towards these things if it doesn't happen naturally.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Currently we are just local (mesa/phoenix az area) but I do hope that eventually we can travel to other states (and maybe countries) in the goal of creating the best content for our channel (and for the professionals we work with. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if you would like to be featured in an upcoming episode as a photographer or makeup artist (or you have another way you would like to work with us, please contact me via facebook or email) 

email - aileenrstrong@gmail.com

facebook - https://www.facebook.com/aileen.strong

 

Year number 2- recap of this last year as a House parent

 The time has come again to pull back the curtain and let you peek into the life I live as a relief house parent at sunshine acres children's home. this month marks our 2 year anniversary of working here :) 

Normal life has returned as covid steps back, to take its place in history. We've had ALOT of things change in the last year. We are still relief, which means we go into any and all houses when needed BUT our main house (the one we are in at least two days of each week) changed. We are still in a girls house but instead of PV , WH now calls us their relief and we had a wonderful year working alongside a couple that became great friends and role models to us. That couple moved up into other positions and out of the home so now we are working with a new couple, working on establishing a new kind of normalcy in the home. 

We used to have Wed-Thurs as our "weekend" and with the move to a new house we moved to Mon-Tues as our "weekend" and then recently we swapped it out to REAL weekends off :)  which has been wonderful because it means that we have been able to start attending a church off-campus which was something I desperately missed, and it's been wonderful.

Personally this year has been a little harder for me, to see the drastic difference in the life we live, compared to the life I had always planned to live. I thought that at this age (I'll turn 39 next week) I would have adopted a few kids. and while I am 100% invested in the path God has me (us) on, it is a constant reminder to trust that he knows best. 

My cats provide constant joy to me as well as entertainment and the kids I work with, who I really do love, they provide an ever changing list of qualities into my life. 

I am "mom" for a moment (when I tuck them in at night or when I wake them in the morning) , when there is a bump or scrape that needs a band aid

I am a friend when the only objective is fun or when sound advice is needed amidst drama . 

I am big sister (or cool aunt) as they deal with the disappointment of a broken promise or family drama, because even though I'm not really family, I love them like family.

I am the drill Sargent at shower time (to make sure nothing but showers are happening while little bodies are naked!!!) 

I am a teacher when there is a lesson to be learned and something I hope they can remember for their future. 

I am a pastor during devotions or talks about God or bible characters and what can be learned and applied to our lives. 

I am disappointed when they make poor choices. I cheer them on as they try new things. 

I am excited when that report card starts showing the effort that's been put in.

I think I probably feel most of the emotions that a Mom feels as I go about my day, performing all the tasks I am required- but it's just a little different because I do so, knowing that they don't belong to me, that they are simply being lent to us for a while.

and when the time comes for one of these precious little ones (or not so little ones) to go home , for good, I am hopeful and worried. I pray and place them in God hands but I cannot help but think of them often and wonder how they are, and who they are becoming. 

We had a little one here for a short time, she was placed though DCS and going through the process of being adopted - this was hard for me to experience. She was not in "MY" house, but one of the girls houses we got to be in once or twice a month and she was a wonderful child. My struggle came from the fact that my whole life (from the time I was a teen) my plan was to adopt kids, and I didn't think that would be a part of this job (since 99.9% of these kids are privately placed and still belong to their gradians). 

I am happy for her, she deserves a wonderful family and

a wonderful life but it was so hard to love a child and then to know that she was looking for a family and then she was adopted- I felt jealous of that family. Most days I don't find it hard to trust that Gods plan for my life is better then my own plans but that week - that she was adopted, it was tough to let go of the dream that I would get to adopt and be a mom full time. I know that God can do anything and I know that maybe this is still a part of his plan for my life but it was eye opening to see how deeply it effected me. 

I do still find this job to be lonely, I miss the deep friendships I had in my life prior and I continue to pray that God will add that back into my life here, I do consider all my co-workers friends, especially the house moms but our social interactions are usually cut short or here and there while we are watching kids play or waiting for the next thing to start, so our focus is always split - there is no uninterrupted fellowship. 

I am still loving this job and can see myself here long term - I continue to pray that God will show me new ways to use the gifts he has given me- and to see ways I can contribute to this amazing community. I remain trusting God with my future - he knows my heart and he knows best.

In conclusion - I am so overwhelmingly blessed in my life - surrounded by beauty and miracles and so many people who's main goal it is to LOVE others. 

I learn and grow constantly here and I hope that never changes. Stay tuned for next years update :) 

I shaved my head and something amazing happened

 Last March, after months of considering, many conversations and even a therapy session, I did something drastic, that made no sense to most people around me.

At 38 years old, the person I saw myself as and the person I saw in the mirror were so drastically different. After 8 years or hormone issues and 5 years on HRT ( working to balance what was terribly unbalanced), I had gained weight, my shape changed and my brain fell back into some of the patterns of thinking (about myself) that I remember from my teenage years. 

My hair... Most of the time was very long. I used to dye it red but after so many years of dying it frequently ( because I grows so fast) my head was covered in scabs so I made the choice to stop dying it and because I have an auto- immune issue called vitiligo, almost 1/2 of the hair on my head was now white, and the other half was brown. And I got compliments on it all the time (sometimes by strangers) and while there WERE times that I liked it, even loved it, I started to see the white hair age me, then I only ever wore it in a bun, and despite not dying it for years, I still had terrible scabs and would pick at them constantly. I also suffer from hot flashes quite frequently and my thick head of hair did not help with that.

Fast forward to March 2021. I shaved all my hair off, and documented it in a YouTube video. I bought some wigs and took back the reigns a bit on how I look and something amazing happened. It didn't happen overnight, but I started to see myself again when I looked in the mirror.

It's been almost a year since I shaved it off, I grew it out for 6 months but felt like I was starting to feel that old way again so it was shaved again. I can't say that I will keep shaving my head for the rest of my life but I can say that I will for the next few years. 

I do still get scabs but I can treat my scalp directly now, and having no hair helps to cool me down much quicker when a hot flash comes. I do wear a wig 95% of the time when I am out among people but at home, or in the homes I work in ( with the kids) I ditch the wig and Rick the buzz, it looks a bit strange with all my white spots but I've grown used to the look and feel and last month I started challenging myself to go out (run errands) without a wig on and it's been a confidence stretching experience.

I can't speak for anyone else who shaves their hair off, and willingly chooses the bald/buzzed look, but I can tell you that for me, it has allowed me to find myself again, to feel comfortable with the me I see in the mirror, somehow my clothes fit better and my face doesn't look so old- it freed something within me. I had no way of knowing that it would do that.

and if you did not see my video of the shaving process, I'll link it here. 

https://youtu.be/fMs0ogdw2SI

the Value of an unbroken promise

 You were supposed to come get her after school. She was going to see your new apartment and spend a whole weekend with you.

But you didn't come. Something came up and you had to leave town. When I told her she screamed, she sat on the stairs and cried, she threw her shoes at the wall. 

She had been counting down the days til today, to when she would see you again.

You would think that after all the broken promises, after a year of not seeing you, that she would expect the worse but she sees you as perfect.

You may have felt like a failure, you may have made a million mistakes with her in those first few years, before rehab, before divorce. Even still, you are her hero, you can do no wrong.

I planned all kinds of fun things for us to do, to fill the hours, and try to make her forget what this weekend was supposed to be, we painted canvases on the floor, we went swimming and made swid hotdogs and brownies, she had fun, but she still would have rather been with you doing anything.

I was her nanny, I spent ALOT of time with her, she is wonderful, she is curious and wild, she speaks her mind ( even it very inappropriate times) but more then anything, she is your daughter.

That day, that you didn't show, that was more then 10 years ago and I have no idea if either of you remember that weekend.

There were many weekends after, where you did come, and she did spend the weekend with you, but for me, the caretaker of this child. I will always remember her disappointment, her anger, her struggle to understand, her broken heart, and it is this I remember anytime a child asks me to make a promise.

I have seen "THAT DAY" play out more times then I care to recall, it always looks the same, a broken heart getting a little more broken.

So I say maybe, even if I am 95% sure that it will work out, and I know it drive the kids crazy not to have a YES or a NO but I do it because I know the worth of keeping a promise.

the HEART of a mother

Every women's story is different. I will pull back the curtain and let you see a bit of my story.  A bit of an origin story (you know, like in the super hero movies.... how they got to be who they are) 

the HEART of a mother 

Many years ago (when I was 22) those words were prophesied over me, by a Godly leader that I trusted and respected. I had no idea what those words meant or how they would come to be so defining for me.

My womb has "held" two little lives that my arms never got to hold and I'm ok with that - I never longed for newborns like my sister did.

My story is a bit ODD.  I felt at a YOUNG age (17ish) that I would not birth my own children and then as life progressed and more health issues were discovered, I add to that initial "hunch" that I didn't need to pass on these health struggles. 

My life as a foster sister had taught me that blood was not a requirement when it comes to family. 

In fact, the very first time my heart broke was not from a boyfriend but instead from a quick and unexpected removal of my two little sister (they were foster sisters but we had begun the process to adopt so they were my sisters to me, and I had grown to love them so deeply - that I still have that scar today, 25 years later).

So - BOTH times that I found I was pregnant, I was perplexed and confused and wondered if I had misunderstood my "calling" and perhaps God did want me to go down that road, I struggled to find the "normal" emotions tied to pregnancy because I was so sure that I would never experience that in my life. So yes, there was sadness in both miscarriage's, but only because I knew that a life had ended, and a possibility had gone away. I do often wonder how different my life would be if either or both of them had lived. But I am not that women who wishes to be pregnant or gets jealous of friends babies, honestly I'm not a really big "baby" person anyways...

In my life I have loved many kids - worked as a nanny, in children's ministry and countless friends children's and my niece and nephews.

I am 38 now. I am a proud CAT mom (and they bring me more joy than I could ever express) and my job and passion project at the moment is to be a Relief house mom (alongside my husband) - I get to pour my heart into little (and older) kids who need it so desperately. 

I am happy that I get to be a "mom" in this little way, because I had such an amazing mom (and still do) who taught me how to love others in an effortless but intentional way. And though I don't have anyone who will carry on my family, and I'll never be a Grandma, I am content, I feel like I am exactly where I am meant to be. 

My story is not over, I still might get to call someone my daughter or son - cause God is rarely predictable. But for now I will do my best to use this heart, the heart of a mother, that God placed in me.

I am NOT a mom, but that is ok

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

some photos - of me and the Kids I've had the privilege of loving over the years 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me and Bobby - one of my two little foster sisters. (I was 15 or 16 here)

a baby I watched for a few days when she was only a few weeks old 

This is me and Wesley, one of my very first nanny kids - I was 18 here

Me and Lily - I nannied her and her siblings when I was 22.

and this is Rohan - I spent my afternoons with him for 2 years :) he was such a sweet boy

And this is Ailsa - I was her nanny in 2009 -2010 

And then Came Joelle - I've never loved a child as much as I love this girl - she is probably the closes thing I will ever have to a child of my own - she is my niece. When I moved to Arkansas in 2013 - it was HER that I missed the most (and still do) 

she has a brother too - but he was really little (6 months) when I moved so I love him too - but we didn't bond like me and Joelle did.

and then I got to spend 6 amazing years as a youth leader at my church in Arkansas

These two girls I babysat for the last year before I moved to Arizona - they helped me with my "i miss working with kids" phase :) 

and if you want to see photos of my current job - me and the kids - that is the post before this one :) 

I hope this post did it's job of explaining ME a bit more, and why I'm not a mom but why and how I have the HEART of a mother. 

Houseparents - My one year recap

Last year I turned 37 and we celebrated my birthday by saying goodbye to our lives, and a lot of people we loved. Some of those people came over, to our empty house and sat on the floor and ate cake and hung out with us one last time. 2 days later we loaded up our car and cats and drove to Arizona, to a new job and a new life. 

 I have sat down many times since then to write about this last year but I never felt I could properly describe it so it always got deleted. But here I am, just turned 38, it has almost been a year since we started this job so I decided it was time to REALLY write a "recap". 

 When we moved here to Arizona to work at a place called Sunshine acres, a wonderful little community, it honestly seemed WAY too good to be true, but it really IS, just as it seems. 

and quick overview of this place and my job. Sunshine acres has 7 kids homes, with room for up to 10 kids in each, 3 of the homes are Boys and 4 of them are girls. Each home has one full-time set of houseparents that are ON (duty) 5 days a week (most weeks) and then there are 6 relief couple. each has a set house that they are in on the full-time parents 2 off days (one couple has 2 houses) and the other 3 days of their work week they go where needed (in any house, or on "support" helping everyone). Me and my husband are a relief couple and our "set" house is a girls house where we spend every Monday and Tuesday. 

I feel in many ways that my whole life prepared me for this job and with that being said it is both the easiest job I've ever had AND the hardest job I've ever had. We started just as covid effectively took over anything and everything normal at Sunshine acres, as well as in Arizona (& the world really) so it was a bit like trying to stand up-right on a rocking boat. 

Fear and confusion and sickness and death was all around, quarantine and hand sanitizer and facemasks, social distance- these became a part of everyday life and we learned to find our place here, as everyone struggled to find a new normal ( not unlike adjusting to life after losing a loved one) 

  At first I could not remember anyone's names, not just the kids but the other house parents too. I still mix up names occasionally but for the most part I know most everyone here. 

 My favorite things about living and working here are 

 - having a dining hall that cooks 95% of the food for the kids (& us) 

 - driving around in our golf cart 

- no snow, no frozen icy roads, no REAL winter

 - my commute from home to work is very short 

- prayer and God are a part of everything and not just something I bring to the job like every job I had prior 

- and I work alongside my husband 

 - the dr I found because of this job that is so very awesome and actually listens when I talk, and works with me to fix any issues I'm dealing with 

- coloring and crafting and taking pictures are all a part of this job 

- I get to braid and create fun hairstyles for countless girls 

-and at the end of the day, when I'm tired, I know and feel that I made a difference and I can see the impact of my job and that is wonderful

-I have no doubt that this is where I am meant to be, that God called me here and has equipped me for this job

 My least fav parts of this job 

 - waking early for school days (I am allergic to mornings) 

 - with a job like this, on my off days I run errands and do stuff around the house and I’ve not really had any social life outside my job, covid has NOT helped this 

-it can be difficult to cultivate relationships with the kids when there are so many of them, it takes time, and lots of patience and it can be really hard to NOT compare ourselves to other houseparent's

-its equally hard to build relationships with the other adults here, our focus is first the kids and so conversations are short and broken and can be few and far between.

 - emotionally it can be hard, and draining 

- I am not a part of a local church anymore where I volunteer and soak up the word and worship (we have a church here but it’s not the same, and covid has kept me from visiting outside church on off time) 

 I cannot really tell you what a typical day is like here, at sunshine acres, as a relief houseparent, cause there really is NO SUCH thing as a typical day. Every day includes lots of kids, usually at least one “meltdown” or “attitude problem” , snacks, homework, laundry, chores, meals in the home and at the dining hall, goofy/silly/fun stuff, and boring/blah stuff. Its a bit like my live-in nanny job from a decade ago but on steroids (instead of one kid, it’s 8,9, 10 kids) , instead of one house, I work in many (mostly the 4 girls houses but occasionally a boys house for a day or two). 

 I find myself answering the same questions again and again “what’s for snack?”, “ can we go to the park?” … and the like, but I have found that over the weeks, months (over the last year) we have developed relationships with these kids, we love them, I love them, so very much. I don’t ever want to say that I know where I will be 5 years or 10 years from now because I always want to leave that up to God but I could see myself, (and so could Tim, he’s said so often) being here for a long time. And I’ll just end by saying one little thing. 

You might not be able to pick up your life and come work at a children's home, and it’s probably NOT your calling but you can do something (so many things) to provide love for a child who needs it. I talk to people all the time about how my parents did foster care, and how I had so so many foster brothers and sisters over the years, and usually what they reply with is - I could never do that, it would be just so hard to fall in love with those kids and then to have to say goodbye. 

 And I will add - JUST because something is hard - should NEVER be a reason why you don’t do it. You don’t have to foster, maybe just volunteer with an organization that works with foster kids, or other kids in need,  find out what their needs are and work to help or fill a need, or if you are doing great financially then look around and see where you can send that money to help kids. 

 And that’s all I have for my ONE YEAR RECAP. Come back next year and I’ll write another one.